jennied

One goal that I set for myself at the beginning of 2008, along with eating health, losing some excess weight, etc. was to become more focused on my present.  Easy right?  Not so much.  Self reflecting, analyzing my past, worrying about my present, anticipation of my future are all easy accomplishments as far as I’m concerned.  What I’m talking about is really taking time to stop and smell the roses, to take the time to live each day and not just for the weekend. 

I work outside the home and usually start my day with the hustle and bustle of getting not only myself ready but also my 3 children.  As we scurry out the door, usually 10 minutes late, I usually return to the house at least once for things that we have forgotten in the initial trip to the car!  My oldest has to be dropped off on one side of town, my middle on another, and the baby somewhere in between.  Then it’s off to the drive through for my coffee or tea.  I have a 20 minute ride to work which usually involves me obsessing over what needs to be accomplished at work that day or, if it was a particularly hectic morning, did I remember to turn off the iron!  Once I get to work, the real mayhem begins.  I progress through my day like a robot putting out fires each time the phone rings or my e-mail alert “bings.”  At the end of the day I am exhausted and round 2 begins.  All you moms out there know what I’m talking about!  It’s off to the 2nd full time job!  Picking up kids, and not happy kids, grumpy kids that are hungry and tired!  We’re off to the house for dinner making, dog feeding, chores, and as the children will tell you “mommy nagging time.”  I don’t consider it nagging, I simply have to tell the children what needs to be done EVERY DAY.  If I don’t do this, nothing gets done!    Dinner is made, homework is done, baths are taken and the bedtime routine ensues.  After all the little ones are in bed, it’s ME time.  Me time usually consists of about 30 minutes before my body shuts down every evening.  I reserve this time for reading, Myspace, or Buddy Slim (of course).

So what’s the point in boring you all with the happenings of my day?  30 minutes of Me time is about all I get!  That’s it!  I spend a majority of my week waiting for the weekend, not at all thinking about how much of my life is wasted in this waited.  Then there is the obsession over my weight.  When I was 18 I thought I needed to lose weight.  Yeah, my size 6 body really needed to slim down!  I look back at pictures and wish I could turn back the hands of time!  Would I go back to 18?  Heck no.  Would I take my 18 year old body?  I honestly don’t know.  Sometimes I think yes I would.  But that would mean missing out on all the wonderful things that have happened in between then and now.  If I took back that 18 year old body, I would take so much for granted.  I don’t want to take like for granted any longer.  I WANT TO TAKE TIME TO SMELL THE DARN ROSES!  I want to quit living only for yesterday and tomorrow.  I want to enjoy today! 

Okay, fellow Buddy Slimmers-let’s all make a pact to start enjoying each and every experience in our lives- no matter how hard it is!  All of the trials that we go through in life make us who we are.  If everything came to us easily who would we be?  What lessons would we have learned?  Let’s all just stop to smell the roses!

 JennieD.

I wrote a post yesterday that Ihad gained 7 pounds. Well, that was after a laproscopic surgery on Friday.  This procedure involves blowing your body up like a balloon…YIKES!   Anyway, I was stupid and weighed myself yesterday and noticed, to my horror, that I had gained 7 pounds.  I knew that it was more than likely any left over gas from the surgery, but 7 pounds worth?  Well, it’s Sunday so I weighed myself and I had lost 8 pounds, which I’m more happy about.  That means a weekly weight loss of 1 pound.  I can live with that!  Happy Sunday to all of you out there in BS (Buddy Slim, not the other BS) world!

 Jennied

I got on the scale this morning and to my shock and HORROR I have gained 7 pounds.  Last Thursday (pre-surgery) I was 197.  Today, I am 205#!  YIKES!  Well, I had my tubes tide Friday morning laproscopically (sp?).  When they do this procedure they fill your belly full of air.  I’m really hoping that this 7 pounds is leftover air.  I haven’t been eating much the last 2 days because of the post anesthesia fog, but I have been drinking lots of fluids and lying around, which is just what the dr. ordered.  I am anxious to get on the treadmill, but don’t want to overdo it.  I will have to wait for my post-op appointment before I get back into any kind of exercise routine.  I would like to say that my motivation for eating better has come full throttle. I am not craving sweets or carbs that much since I’ve began eating more healthy.  I tried to eat some of a Schlotzky’s(sp?) sandwich the other day and only managed about 3 bites and was done.  I pulled an orange from my emergency snack stash at work and ate that instead!  Kuddos to me!  I’m just proud of myself for not raiding the snack machine at work!  I won’t lie and say that the ho-ho’s and chips don’t still LOOK appetizing, because they do.  But I think I’ve broken through the thought process that my body NEEDS these things.  I now know that it doesn’t.  I feel as though I’m better able to fight off these cravings.  I heard something on TV today (kuddos to Dr. OZ), he said that the only way to get motivation is to ACT.  You will never get motivated if you vegitate on the couch.  Motivation comes from making yourself feel better about yourself and the decisions you make.  It’s all accomplished through the little goals we acheive!  AMEN!  So, since I’ve soap boxed about being in a vegetative state - it’s back to the couch for me to heal a little more.  I’m hoping that in a few days I’ll be as good as new. 

JenD.

I have had an emotionally draining day today.  My ex-husband called  me at 6am this morning telling me that his mother passed away around 2am.  She has been battling cancer for years.  Her cancer had actually gone into remission several years ago, only to return in her brain.  Her prognosis wasn’t ever promising, but she made it longer than her oncologist predicted.  My daughter is very close to her Grandma Lisa.  I battled with if I should tell her the news this morning or if I should wait.  Unfortunately, I had meetings scheduled today that I couldn’t cancel at the last minute.  My only alternative to waiting was to tell her and then leave her with my current husband’s in-laws all day.  Well, it only took me a few seconds to decide that that wasn’t the option for this situation.  I know that it was cruel to wait, but I wanted to be with her when I broke the news.  I wanted to hold her and comfort her when she cried.  I should say at some point in this blog that my daughter is 10 years old.  My husband brought home a chicken from Wal-Mart and I made veggies and we ate dinner.  I barely touched my food, due to the dread I felt about the impending conversation ahead of us.  She didn’t take it well, but that’s to be expected.  She has never been faced with this before.  She doesn’t understand that her Grandma Lisa doesn’t want a funeral.  How do you explain cremation to a child?  Really, I need some serious help with this question.  She is so torn up because she didn’t get to say goodbye.  She hasn’t gotten to see her grandma for almost a year now because she has been so sick she hasn’t wanted the grand-kids to see her.  So we will talk and talk and talk about it.  I sit here and just cry as I type thinking about what must be going through her 10 year old mind.  I know how badly it hurt when I lost my grandmother at 25. 

I am a stress eater but am bound and determined not to blow my healthy eating over this.  Exercise is the LAST thing on my mind right now.  I am having surgery tomorrow - a tubal (3 kids is enough for me).  My life could be described as a roller-coaster right now-but we’ll stick together and get through in true Davis fashion. 

I love that I found this site.  I love reading everyone’s blogs-it provides SO much motivation and inspiration for me to keep on track.  Thanks to all of you for being so open and honest!

Jen

No really, I did just have a baby.  Well, she was born on January 28 so she’s almost 5 months old.  But do women ever get to stop using that “excuse”?  I am the proud mother of 3 children.  My oldest is 10, my middle child is 4 and my youngest, as stated above is almost 5 months.  When I got pregnant with my first child I weighed 115 pounds.   I add that tidbit only because now I’m 33 and it is proven that our metabolism slows as we age (sigh).  I gained 40 pounds when I was pregnant with my first.  After I had her I sprung back to my pre-pregnancy weight in no time.  When I got pregnant with my son, and I say this with absolutely NO exaggeration; I was pregnant from my head to my toes!    I gained almost 70 pounds. YIKES!  When my son was born I lost 20 and kept the rest.  I slowly lost about another 15 pounds but kept the rest, not to mention all the other wonderful battle scars of pregnancy!   So, lets fast forward to me getting pregnant at 32.  I weighed 182 when I got pregnant for the 3rd time.  I only gained 20 pounds with my daughter.  I had so many complications with this pregnancy, and only gained 20 pounds!  But is was due to me being so overweight to begin with - this is actually what my dr. told me at my appointment right before I burst into hormonal tears!  So the moral of this story…..pregnancy screws up most womens’ bodies.  Now, don’t get me wrong, our kids are worth it.  I love my children.  However, if given the chance to go back and change anything I would have been more healthy.  I feel like I allowed my weight to snowball since I didn’t do anything about it over all these years.  I’ve been asked by many what diets I’ve tried in the past.  My answer is this…”avoidance.”  I know that my body will never look like it did before I had kids - I’m not unrealistic!  I just want to be healthy and get my but moving.  I have changed the way that I eat.  I no longer eat the left over chicken nuggets off of my kids plates.  I pray for strength every day right after I hear the first sign of life running into my room in the morning and before my feet even hit the floor.  It is such a struggle to find time for yourself when you work full time and are trying to raise 3 children and 1 husband in this crazy world! 

 Just some of my thoughts for the day.  Hope all of you have a great Wednesday!  I will try to no longer say “avoidance” but am still reluctant to say diet.  I will from now on say that I make healthy food choices and move my body as much as I can.  That’s all I can do.